Skin
by DuplicateMe
Summary: I drift away to a place...GC and Instant Star crossover of sorts. Really good, just read.


I can hear it all the way from halfway down the hall albeit it was muffled by the door but I could still hear it. I knew even before I even opened the door that Joel was in his room crying and I knew why.

_I drift away to a place_

_Another kind of life_

_Take away the pain_

_I create my paradise_

Damn it he was listening to that song. I hate that song. It seems it's worse than I thought. I walk around the apartment putting my things down. Once I'm done I walk to his door and stand there. I listen to the words and let them flow through me.

Surly he couldn't be that depressed.

_Everything I've held_

_Has hit the wall_

_What used to be yours_

_Isn't yours at all _

I slowly opened the door and let out a sigh. His back is to the door and I wince from the sight before me. Joel has his shirt off and I can see all the bruises and cuts on his back. I didn't mean to hurt him so much but I was just so mad. Our manager had just called and said the our tour was going to be canceled or 'post-pond' as he put it. It wasn't my fault that Joel just happened to come out of his room at the very moment that I threw the phone at his door. His scream just added to my anger and I stormed over to his cowering form and dragged him by his hair all the way to my room. I shut the door and locked it. Then I let my anger consume me.

I'm brought out of my thoughts by Joel's voice. He sings in perfect timing with the girl though his voice is horse from crying.

_Falling apart, and all that I'm asking_

_Is it a crime, am I overreacting_

_Oh, he's under my skin_

_Just give me something to get rid of him_

_I've got a reason now to bury this alive_

_Another little white lie _

Strangely it makes the song sound better.

_ So what you had didn't fit_

_Among the pretty things_

_Never fear, never fear_

_I now know where you've been_

_Braids have been un-tied_

_As ribbons fall away_

_Leave the consequence_

_But my tears you'll taste _

I slowly and quietly begin to walk towards him. I sit on his bed and his voice catches. I run my hands over a particularly nasty looking cut and he winces.

"Joel." I whisper and I'm not sure if he hears me because he's singing with the girl again.

_Falling apart and all that I question_

_Is this a dream or is this my lesson_

_Oh, he's under my skin_

_Just give me something to get rid of him_

_I've got a reason now to bury this alive_

_Another little white lie _

"Joel." I say again but my voice cracks.

I clear my thought and try again, more firm this time.

"Joel look at me damn it."

I see him tense and I know it works. He fears my voice.

_I don't believe I'll be all right_

_I don't believe I'll be OK_

_I don't believe how you've thrown me away _

At this he turns and looks at me. I bite my tongue to hold in a gasp. You know most people, when they cry their eyes are lighter, clearer they look like pools into their souls... but not Joel's. His are nearly black.

_ I do believe you didn't try_

_I do blame you for every lie_

_When I look in your eyes, I don't see mine _

So unlike his tainted soul and so much like mine.

_Oh, he's under my skin_

_Just give me something to get rid of him_

_I've got a reason now to bury this alive_

_Another little white lie _

I was so wrapped up in looking into his eyes that I nearly missed the way he gestured from him to me. What did he mean? What did I miss?

Suddenly I see his eyes change and they go back to their natural brown an his voice grows stronger.

_Oh my permission to sin_

_You might have started my reckoning_

_I've got a reason now to bury him alive _

His voice cracks but it immediately goes back to being strong.

_Another little white lie _

Once the song is done we sit and look at each other, my eyes boring into his. The room is now quiet and his eyes suddenly leave mine. I try to get him to look at me but he flinches from my touch and avoids my gaze. I stand up and sigh. He's back to the Joel I remember. I take one last look at his tear stained face and turn towards the door. Halfway out the door my feet catch and I stumble.

I can hear his words, so softly spoken.

"What would mom and dad think?"

Bastard.

I'll make him pay for that tomorrow and I slam the door behind me.

If any one threw him away it was them. Not me. Never me.

And the song starts again.

_ "I drift away to a place..." _


End file.
